Oh, yes!

Shannin said, "I need to lose about 180 pounds to be "normal." at two pounds a week, that would be close to two years and that's assuming I eat perfectly. By having this surgery I could potentially lose that weight in 1 year.

"Over 90% of those who have surgery maintain their losses, compared to less than 5% who do so just by dieting.

"That's reason enough for me."

Hell yes, that's reason enough for me, too.

To be done with this. To just be DONE with this.

Take yesterday, for instance. I left work and went to help a friend pack up her apartment for a very stressful move. I had 16 F1ex 0ints left. Plus 6 daily 0ints. Guess what we ate. I mean, come on—what do you usually eat when you're packing? Pizza. I ended up going over my 0ints—and off Program—by 1.5. I'm not sure if/how much that will set me back on the scales.

But I did it because it was there. It was what we were all eating, and we were talking and working and laughing and it just kept moving into my mouth. At least I didn't touch the beer, right? But gawd.

As important as losing weight has become in my mind—to, once again, the exclusion of all else including The Rewrite—I ate it anyway. I ate it fully expecting it to put me off Program. After the first few countable pieces, I ate it hating myself for not being able to stop. I ate it hating myself for having to think about it and saying, Fuck it, I'm not going to think about it!, which is stupid, yes? Because of course that's thinking about it.

I ate it.

But surgery would have stopped me.

Again, no answers here . . .

One Mouth, Two Sides

So far, I've put in three weeks of good WWering. That's 21 on-program days in a row. According to WW's Scalegod on Tuesday night, I've lost 5.2 pounds. And, like Mark said, we went to the lapband support group meeting last night.

This is what the Doctor said (paraphrasing):

"Almost 99% of the overweight people who come to me for weight loss surgery, are overweight because of their genetics. Many of them don't eat much more than I do, yet they're morbidly obese. Some of them eat less than I do, and they're still morbidly obese."


"The only thing the lapband does is restrict the amount of food you can put in your stomach. That's it."

Now, is it just me or do those 2 statements cancel each other out?

Put it another way—If 99% of the people getting surgery are fat because of their genetics, that means they became morbidly obese eating the same amount of food as a more genetically-blessed, non-obese person. Yes?

But if that's true, then how does simply restricting the amount of food they can put in their stomachs make them lose weight?

For one thing, I'll bet you dollars to donuts (and you know how I love me some donuts) that most of those people in that room last night are not fat because of their genetics. They did not get fat eating less than 1800 calories and getting at least 45 minutes of exercise a day.

That may be what they tell that doctor? But he and I—and I hope, you—know better. They are lying. Lying through their rarely empty mouths.

I know for a fact that at least two of us—and yes, I'm including you here Mark, because I've seen you eat, yo—are fat because we just plain eat too much and we don't move.

I'm not trying to be mean here, I'm just telling you what I see.

For instance, the Doctor includes in his https://www.chaturbaterooms.com seminar, the results of an NIH study that shows WLS as the most efficacious treatment for morbid obesity.

So all you fat people out there, who have a BMI equal to or greater than 40—or between 35 and 40, with comorbid conditions like diabetes type 2 or hypertension etc.—he wants you to know that your morbid obesity is genetic and the best treatment for you is weight loss surgery.

If that's true, my weight-loss-blogging compatriots, we are fucked.

We may as well give up now and go divorce our stomachs because nothing else is going to work. It's a medical fact.

So, okay. I have yet to lose a significant amount of weight and keep it off for a significant length of time. If you're only going by my history, the Doctor is probably right.

And still I call bullshit on his ass.

Now, lets shift gears a little bit. When I said most of the people in that room last night were not there because of genetics, there was one woman who I think actually was. She got up to speak because she'd had her lapband surgery a few weeks ago.

As part of the jasminlive approval process, you're supposed to gather evidence of your past weight loss efforts to show that you've tried and failed with other methods.

One of the things she included in her "history" was her book—where her mother had lovingly recorded all her "firsts" like how many ounces of formula she drank at a time and how many bottles she took a day, to the first time she was fed cereal, carrots, drank out of a cup, used a spoon, etc. Right up until her 2nd birthday where her mother wrote, "Jane* is not just a good eater, she's a great eater. She'd eat all day long if you let her."

I get tears in my eyes just typing that. What about you?

In the end, I have no answers. In the end, I am neither proclaiming that I will never have surgery or signing on the dotted line.

In case it hasn't been made abundantly clear over the past 2 years, I have no frickin' idea what I'm doing or what I want to do or how to solve my problems.

On the one hand, I can't help thinking that if you can lose weight with surgery, you can lose weight without surgery.

On the other hand, I can't help thinking that getting the surgery has to at least make it harder to gain it back once you do lose it.

And on the other other hand, what kind of sense does it make to lose weight, then get the surgery to keep yourself from gaining it back? And if I can wrap my head around the surgery making it easier to keep weight off, why can't I wrap my head around the surgery making it easier to take it off?

As usual, you'll find no answers here.

When oh when will we find some answers here?!

Name changed, of course

WLS surgery seminar—from Mark

Well, Von and I went to yet another, WLS seminar together, this time lapband. Of course, we had to eat before we went there. Cheeburger,Cheeburger hit the spot. They don't make their shakes really, really, thick, how I like them. Tried a malt-it was NOT thick. (I should just be given the 1/2 gallon of ice cream instead, like von said).

There were many fat folks there. Heard from folks who had already gone through the surgery. In the long run, all were happy that they did it. Quality of like was the most mentioned.

I can only sit and wait to hear back from the WLS doc's office. So, I'll just stay in a holding pattern. Eat like there's no tomorrow. Get all of my 'cravings done with' and change my life pattern, and of course, exercise.

Taking a day vacation to enjoy the long Labor day weekend. Then, come back to more work in my jasminelive "in-box." Doing "what's in the box," is my usual reply in staff meetings.

Wish the situtations for folks dealing w/their life changing existance in the flooding states. Hope they get the much needed help! Heard that Bush's popularity level has fallen to it's lowest, since his presidency.

And so it goes.

Still sorting stuff in my head

Okay-haven't written anything here for quite awhile. Just plain haven't felt like it.

My weight has stayed stable. I really haven't done anything to make that scale move. Why? Again, I have no excuse. My head tells me one thing, but my ass tells me another. I have till yet to make it to the rec ctr-which is way to close for me. I tell myself, go after I get home and walk the Zeus dog. But, I feel totally wiped out when I get back into the house.

So, here I am. Not really knowing what to write down here. I'm in a holding pattern, in general. I'm just not terribly excited right now. A cat video via e-mail Von sent me had me laughing earlier in the day. I laughed again just now when I showed it to my daughter and Sweetie.

The dog had to be coaxed into eating dinner. He put his nose up to chicken. He just wanted to sleep. Finally, he ate cottage cheese and jello. He had to have something in order to get his insulin. That was what he'd eat when he was getting over being sick. He is suppose to go back in about 2 mths for a follow-up w/insulin levels. It's always more $$$ taking him back to the vets.

Not sure if I noted down that after seeing the orthopedic dr that my right knee is actually worse than my left-at least w/the arthritic damage. But that leg has more flexability than the left. With everything going on-looking at surgery in Dec., if I'm lucky. Have a vacation in June and the honeymoon in Oct. Still have to plan a real wedding yet. Three more months for any other shots of cortisone.

I told Von about the bariatric site too. Von-did ya take a look?

Best to shut up right now.

Emily says

The words Stupid & Lazy may not apply to all obese people but they definitely apply to me.

Take last night, fer instance . . .

I started the day yesterday the way I start most weekday mornings—with a fatkins shake. And boy, am I sick of THOSE. I hate the way they taste. I hate the way they feel. I gulp it down as fast as I can, then feel queasy for a few hours. Yay! Lunch was couscous lentil soup, you know the lofat add hot water to it kind from safeway, and a mini bel cheese and a piece of fruit. Again, typical for a weekday. Cheap and easy and not terrible for me, right?


So then I go home, but we're out of a few things so I had to stop at the grocery store first. And by then, did I mention? I was a little hungry. Yeah. Just a little. So I bought some of the wrong things. Like a package of stella doro sesame breadsticks and a nice wedge of semisoft blue cheese. Which I proceeded to go home and scarf on. And really, if I'd had a salad with that, I could have called that dinner. I mean, Scott's away this week so the night before, I had a bag of micro popcorn and I called that dinner. What the heck.

But did I? No. No, I did not. I scarfed down some breadsticks and cheese—to take the edge off, you know—and then two hours later, I had dinner. And since Scott's not home, I can have hashbrowns and stovetop stuffing and call it dinner. Which means, no protein. And since Scott's not home, I can eat a whole LOT of it. Which left me too full AND a little sugar-shocky. In a word, miserable. But did I then go upstairs and hit the treadmill for a bit? Which would have at least helped with the sugar-shock, if nothing else?

No. No, I did not. Which brings us back to the title of this entry.

Stupid + Lazy = Me

Meanwhile, I've begged Mark to exercise her WLS superpowers and find out about fruit-flavored protein drinks for me so that I can kick these fatkins nightmare drinks to the frickin' curb.

Feeling fat-want chocolate

Okay, it's Mon. night. Been in the house since Fri after work until going to work this morning. Did some cleaning of floors and clothes. Nothing to lose any weight. Why? lazy. Watched the snow fall and wrapped up under covers when the power was out 3 different times. Ran around and re-set clocks on alarm clocks, VCR-DVD-tv. What fun.

I've had such a craving for chocolate since this weekend. Had hot chocolate on Sun. and then hit the coffee crack place for a Venti 1% of late and hot chocolate this morning. Then I proceeded to spill most of it on my car seat. Just lovely....

Von-thank you for all of the work you did w/photos and links. I'd be lost computer wise with out you.

For all of those who have commented on my pics/progress-thanks for the good words. Now, it just have to do something about tightening things up. My sweetie did comment about my bottom being smaller... he said many nice things, but had me laughing about my arse.

Von-we didnt' even tawk about the idiot Cheney. The late night talk guys & SNL will have a field day w/that one. IDIOT!

Gotta go-dinner's on the table. I've stayed off of Ebay. Still waiting on one purchase to arrive.

It's freezin' up again outside-tomorrow more meltin'

Worth a visit